The genius myth that really takes the cake, both
for ridiculous plot and shady motivations, is that of the great Sir Isaac Newton.
Isaac Newton has hands-down the most absurd genius myth out there.
You’ve
heard it—the one where he’s, like, half-napping under a tree, and then an apple
plunks down onto his head, and in that instant, Newton discovers gravity.
That
certainly sounds impressive; the idea that the entire understanding of the world’s
most powerful invisible force could “come to you” instantaneously would lead
anyone to believe that there was something magical about Newton’s brain.
But come ON, people. There are so many problems with this. Let’s break it
down: 1) Newton did not “discover” gravity. After all, long before Newton was
even alive, people had certainly noticed that things always seemed to fall toward
the ground. 2) Being hit on the head doesn’t make people revolutionize the entire
field of physics.
It makes them say, “Ow.” The truth is that in Newton’s time,
people already knew that the planets revolved around the sun and how their
orbits worked. What they couldn’t figure out was what kept the planets going in
circles.
Why didn’t the planets fly off into space? It’s not even certain whether
Newton had any encounter at all with an apple, but even if he did, it simply gave
him something to think about...and then he essentially locked himself away for
twenty years until he figured out the equations to explain how gravity might be
responsible for holding the planets in their orbits.
Now, a mathematical equation is not exactly a hot-ticket item like a new
light bulb or box seats to the hottest concert of 1765. Newton wasn’t set for
stardom, even with the history-making greatness of his work.
What’s more,
telling a story of taking twenty years to figure out one problem might be honest,
but it’s not particularly sensational.
Not to worry. Newton was in the middle of a
high school cafeteria-style popularity contest, and the apple story was the key to
becoming the scientific equivalent of prom queen.
Science in Europe at that time had all the cattiness, backstabbing, and
notoriety of today’s celebutantes.
The scientists may have made more significant
advances for the human race…but both sets of people still wore lots of long,
fake hair.
One of Newton’s greatest supporters was a guy named Voltaire. (P.S.
Voltaire is an extremely important writer and philosopher in his own right, with
many groundbreaking written works, which you should look up.
It’s just that for
the purposes of this story, we’re focused on his lesser-known role as the Queen
Bee of the gossipy intellectuals.)
At that time, there was a scientific rivalry
between the supporters of a French scientist named Descartes and the supporters of Newton, and Voltaire was definitely Team Newton.
Voltaire really wanted to
crush Descartes. Unfortunately, that was slightly difficult, because Voltaire was
no match for either of them in science and math.
So, rather than resorting to
“Descartes’ mama is so fat…” jokes, Voltaire focused on making Newton look
so amazing in the public eye that Descartes would be yesterday’s news.
Voltaire may not have been a top scientist, but he was an exceptional writer, and so step one of his plan was to write a popular book that explained Newton’s
work to the public in an accessible way and made Newton look like a god.
This
became Eléments de la Philosophie de Newton. Step two was to take Newton’s
nerdy image and make him over into a studmuffin (or at least the eighteenth-
century version of one).
For your viewing pleasure, here is the “illustration” of
Newton that Voltaire included in his book:
Step three was to make sure that even people who wouldn’t read that big
mathy book still knew that Newton was the bomb.
To do this, Voltaire came up
with a subtle and devilish idea: create a sensational story that gossips could
spread like wildfire. World, meet “the falling apple.”
Voltaire must have known that the apple story was the best way to make
Newton look like a genius, because in addition to its appearance in Eléments de
la Philosophie de Newton, there are numerous different records of him telling it
over and over again.
After all, if you are trying to become famous, then you need
a lot of fans.
Think about it.
Newton couldn’t just go on a reality show like So You Think You Can Explain
Gravity? (This was partly because he was unattractive and potentially crazy
from mercury poisoning, and partly because there were no TVs.) For thousands
of years, creating stories of impressive, innate genius was the one way to a
guaranteed victory.
for ridiculous plot and shady motivations, is that of the great Sir Isaac Newton.
Isaac Newton has hands-down the most absurd genius myth out there.
You’ve
heard it—the one where he’s, like, half-napping under a tree, and then an apple
plunks down onto his head, and in that instant, Newton discovers gravity.
That
certainly sounds impressive; the idea that the entire understanding of the world’s
most powerful invisible force could “come to you” instantaneously would lead
anyone to believe that there was something magical about Newton’s brain.
But come ON, people. There are so many problems with this. Let’s break it
down: 1) Newton did not “discover” gravity. After all, long before Newton was
even alive, people had certainly noticed that things always seemed to fall toward
the ground. 2) Being hit on the head doesn’t make people revolutionize the entire
field of physics.
It makes them say, “Ow.” The truth is that in Newton’s time,
people already knew that the planets revolved around the sun and how their
orbits worked. What they couldn’t figure out was what kept the planets going in
circles.
Why didn’t the planets fly off into space? It’s not even certain whether
Newton had any encounter at all with an apple, but even if he did, it simply gave
him something to think about...and then he essentially locked himself away for
twenty years until he figured out the equations to explain how gravity might be
responsible for holding the planets in their orbits.
Now, a mathematical equation is not exactly a hot-ticket item like a new
light bulb or box seats to the hottest concert of 1765. Newton wasn’t set for
stardom, even with the history-making greatness of his work.
What’s more,
telling a story of taking twenty years to figure out one problem might be honest,
but it’s not particularly sensational.
Not to worry. Newton was in the middle of a
high school cafeteria-style popularity contest, and the apple story was the key to
becoming the scientific equivalent of prom queen.
Science in Europe at that time had all the cattiness, backstabbing, and
notoriety of today’s celebutantes.
The scientists may have made more significant
advances for the human race…but both sets of people still wore lots of long,
fake hair.
One of Newton’s greatest supporters was a guy named Voltaire. (P.S.
Voltaire is an extremely important writer and philosopher in his own right, with
many groundbreaking written works, which you should look up.
It’s just that for
the purposes of this story, we’re focused on his lesser-known role as the Queen
Bee of the gossipy intellectuals.)
At that time, there was a scientific rivalry
between the supporters of a French scientist named Descartes and the supporters of Newton, and Voltaire was definitely Team Newton.
Voltaire really wanted to
crush Descartes. Unfortunately, that was slightly difficult, because Voltaire was
no match for either of them in science and math.
So, rather than resorting to
“Descartes’ mama is so fat…” jokes, Voltaire focused on making Newton look
so amazing in the public eye that Descartes would be yesterday’s news.
work to the public in an accessible way and made Newton look like a god.
This
became Eléments de la Philosophie de Newton. Step two was to take Newton’s
nerdy image and make him over into a studmuffin (or at least the eighteenth-
century version of one).
For your viewing pleasure, here is the “illustration” of
Newton that Voltaire included in his book:
Step three was to make sure that even people who wouldn’t read that big
mathy book still knew that Newton was the bomb.
To do this, Voltaire came up
with a subtle and devilish idea: create a sensational story that gossips could
spread like wildfire. World, meet “the falling apple.”
Voltaire must have known that the apple story was the best way to make
Newton look like a genius, because in addition to its appearance in Eléments de
la Philosophie de Newton, there are numerous different records of him telling it
over and over again.
After all, if you are trying to become famous, then you need
a lot of fans.
Think about it.
Newton couldn’t just go on a reality show like So You Think You Can Explain
Gravity? (This was partly because he was unattractive and potentially crazy
from mercury poisoning, and partly because there were no TVs.) For thousands
of years, creating stories of impressive, innate genius was the one way to a
guaranteed victory.